"SEE YOU Next Time..."

David Sedaris is known for pulling silly stunts during his book signings. I was there for the infamous “all smokers to the front of the line” incident at UCLA, which later prompted an absurd discrimination lawsuit. I was one of the people cut-in-on and I thought it was hysterical. You had to have an open pack on your person to advance. The next night he tried to pacify the administration by giving priority to smokers and adults with braces, because “it would just look so silly in court…” How do you argue with that?

When Lisa and I see Sedaris, we usually hit the meet and greet after the performance. There is always a long line, but at least it makes for good people watching. It certainly beats sitting in your car breathing in exhaust fumes while waiting for the bottleneck in the parking structure to clear. There was a spectacular lightening storm on the way down to the show this year. Normally, that would mean heavy traffic, but we made it down to the theatre in record time. Since we were early, we decided it would be a nice change of pace to see Sedaris before his reading. As we waited to speak to him, Julie Bowen and Lesley Boone (of “Ed” fame - if that’s not an oxymoron) got into line behind us. I only know this because Julie Bowen’s over-stuffed purse whacked me in the back about 10 times… one for each time I heard her say the words “my agent”. I must admit, I rather enjoyed the woman standing next to Sedaris, repeatedly asking Lesley if they went to high school together… “You just look so familiar, don’t we know each other?”

As we walked up to greet Sedaris he was pulled away by some young hipster. He politely excused himself and said he’d be right back. In his absence, a Book Soup flunky walked up and put his fast food dinner right on the man’s seat. When Sedaris came back there was an awkward exchange and a grease spot check. Finally it was our chance to speak.

After our brief conversation, I turned away and excitedly looked down at my book to read his inscription…

“YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.”