Andy Richter Controls The Blogosphere

Andy Richter's new sitcom, Andy Barker P.I., will premiere in the 30 Rock time slot on March 15, 2007. In addition to the sublime Andy Richter, it will co-star the ridiculous Tony Hale from, dare I say the best sitcom ever, Arrested Development. One of my favorite bloggers, Jane Espenson is a writer on the show. And if that was not enough, the incomparable Miss Amy Sedaris will appear as a guest star. I can't wait. I advise you to set your DVR today.

Bill Maher Streaming on Amazon

Read more in the Los Angeles Times.

"SEE YOU Next Time..."

David Sedaris is known for pulling silly stunts during his book signings. I was there for the infamous “all smokers to the front of the line” incident at UCLA, which later prompted an absurd discrimination lawsuit. I was one of the people cut-in-on and I thought it was hysterical. You had to have an open pack on your person to advance. The next night he tried to pacify the administration by giving priority to smokers and adults with braces, because “it would just look so silly in court…” How do you argue with that?

When Lisa and I see Sedaris, we usually hit the meet and greet after the performance. There is always a long line, but at least it makes for good people watching. It certainly beats sitting in your car breathing in exhaust fumes while waiting for the bottleneck in the parking structure to clear. There was a spectacular lightening storm on the way down to the show this year. Normally, that would mean heavy traffic, but we made it down to the theatre in record time. Since we were early, we decided it would be a nice change of pace to see Sedaris before his reading. As we waited to speak to him, Julie Bowen and Lesley Boone (of “Ed” fame - if that’s not an oxymoron) got into line behind us. I only know this because Julie Bowen’s over-stuffed purse whacked me in the back about 10 times… one for each time I heard her say the words “my agent”. I must admit, I rather enjoyed the woman standing next to Sedaris, repeatedly asking Lesley if they went to high school together… “You just look so familiar, don’t we know each other?”

As we walked up to greet Sedaris he was pulled away by some young hipster. He politely excused himself and said he’d be right back. In his absence, a Book Soup flunky walked up and put his fast food dinner right on the man’s seat. When Sedaris came back there was an awkward exchange and a grease spot check. Finally it was our chance to speak.

After our brief conversation, I turned away and excitedly looked down at my book to read his inscription…

“YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.”

"You have to stand out in the rain to get struck by lightening..."

For those of you not yet initiated into the ways of “The Rooster” and his kin… may I suggest reading Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. As is everything Sedaris writes, it is simultaneously sad and funny. I’ve been a huge fan since I first heard him reading from his “Santaland Diaries” on NPR’s This American Life. There is just something special about hearing him read his own words aloud in that unique voice of his. In fact, I’ll be in the audience listening to him next Wednesday at Royce Hall as part of my “kabuki-acid-jazz” series at UCLA. Sadly, I fear I’ve run out of books for him to sign. Last time, I was forced to have him sign the playbill from The Book of Liz which he wrote with his sister Amy… my new obsession. Amy has become David Letterman’s new and improved Teri Garr - the go-to-gal of fill-in guests. Whether taking about her sewing circle, the Crafty Beavers, or a nearby lesbian bar, Lickety Splits… she is a guaranteed to make you laugh. That Ricky is a lucky man.

In Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris put a name to my affliction… keraunothnetophobia, the irrational and constant fear of being hit by falling man-made satellites. Now I probably don’t fit all the criteria as laid out in the DSM IV, but I think about it… perhaps a little too often. I think it first started when I read Deadeye Dick, by Kurt Vonnegut. The thought of a child carelessly shooting a bullet into the air, only to have it hurtle back to earth and land on some poor hausfrau’s head, truly disturbed me. The cover is still burned into my brain… an open door, a running vacuum and the dead woman’s legs with toes pointed upward. (I still remember what I thought the first time I read Vonnegut… “Wow, someone wrote this just for me. I am not alone”)

This all brings me to an article I recently read in WIRED [14.02] entitled “I Spy”. The piece quotes Desmond King-Hele on the subject of planet Earth after a nuclear holocaust as saying “satellites would remain circling a devastated planet, relics of the advanced technology that led to our downfall.” It is a haunting image. Imagine some future generation or alien civilization discovering these orbiting time-capsules like some sci-fi Stonehenge. I can’t escape the thought of Charleton Heston falling to his knees at the base of a half-buried Statue of Liberty in agony over the realization that The Planet of the Apes is in fact planet Earth. “Oh God!”

Or maybe a dying satellite will just fall from the heavens and hit poor Chuck squarely on his head.

"Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them..."

It seems only fitting that I begin this, my inaugural blog, just before the witching hour on April Fool's Day. I thought that sounded better than... I'm sitting here alone at home on a Saturday night with nothing better to do than burden you with the mundane details of my life. Well, at least I'm not at work anymore. Perhaps I'll read a book. Who am I kidding? I think I'll go to bed. Remember to spring forward.

Goodnight, my friend.